Thinking about my second post, for a few days, I wondered whether it should be back to the beginning or nearer to today. I have a few ideas, but as I left the house this morning I settled on a theme. This morning I left the house to go to the farmers’ market in the village. I have everything: dog on a lead; sunglasses; a bag. Well I am standing on the drive but something is missing. I have a free hand, an odd feeling, back to the house to get my stick!

Ten years ago, I returned home after almost six months in hospital following my accident. At that stage of my recovery, I was able to walk short distances with a pair of crutches. So forgetting my stick was not an option. In fact, leaving the house without help was not possible. Our home had a high step and steep drive, so I needed help to get out the front door and my competence in the wheelchair was not sufficient to negotiate the drive. We joked that the one thing my family could be sure of, was that when they left for work and school I would still be there on their return. I will explore learning to walk on another occasion, you will see that I am setting my self some challenges. Having taken so long to start writing a blog, I want to make sure I keep going. That would make another theme: determination.

in my first post, I referred to my injury as L1 incomplete which means that some things below the injury are connected. Some in the spinal cord injury community refer to themselves as “walkers” as compared to a wheelchair user. However, as every injury is different I am not sure about the categorization. The lower part of the cord begins to separate into a horses tail which results in a more unpredictable pattern of loss of function. In my case a weak leg, the left one, weakness in the lower legs and limited feeling in my feet. So among some of the things I cannot do (yet?) is stand on my toes. Why would that matter you might ask, well I am not sure but running is not possible. The weakness in my left leg occasionally results in my knee giving way, just reminded of that on my way to the kitchen. All quite trivial compared with my initial experiences. In the rehabilitation process there needs to be a balance between what is possible now and what might be possible later (impossible?).

The first time I forgot my stick, a few years after my accident, was on a business trip to Finland. On the way to the airport I realized I did not have my stick. My dilemma: turn around and miss the flight; buy one at the airport; or manage without? Well missing the flight did not seem like an option and it was virtually guaranteed by our proximity to the airport. Buying one at the airport seems like a good idea, but still not sure I have seen one in a duty free shop. Some challenges you choose, some you do not; but, thought I am going to be in a plane, car or hotel for a few days so should be able to cope, so i am on my way. At the time, I was generally walking indoors without the aid of any sticks, but outside there are many more hazards. The other advantage of a stick for an impatient soul is the speed.  I was always a quick walker but now I am somewhat slower, especially when stairs are involved. The trip was a success even the evening dinner on a boat, although the gang plank was an extra experience.

On a more recent occasion, I did not forget my stick but traveling on the Docklands Light Railway my cherry wood cane snapped. Rush hour on the London Underground, I am reminded of my vulnerability. The crowds pushing in all directions, it has always surprised me how few people even seem to notice the stick when out and about. Even carrying a broken cane draws no attention as I struggled through the pack. I mentioned earlier the lack of duty-free canes at airport, I emerged to the surface at King’s Cross and asked a police officer for directions to the nearest shop! “No idea, sir.” I considered getting the train home, although I was still a little nervous. So looking around the station for a key cutter, just in case you were not aware that is where you can usually buy a new cane. Not one to be seen amongst all the fashionable shops of St Pancras International. Boots the Chemist, not that they call themselves that anymore, might be the answer; but what section would they be in? Spotting a nice umbrella, I thought that would do and made my way to the checkout. Asking casually of the checkout assistant about walking sticks; one is produced from behind the counter, as she explains they must have had a run on the stock “these just came in”.

Anyway time to close, still experimenting with the idea of this blog, so today a few reflections on forgetting my stick. I hope to be a little more ambitious in future posts, but ….